Posted by: namesconnie | October 5, 2020

The Scent of Baby Powder by Connie Webb

The Scent of Baby Powder by Connie Webb

The scent of baby powder brings back beautiful memories of both my well-loved babies.

Fresh and happy from their baby bathtub with their hooded baby towels and smiles;

Then a nice fresh diaper ready for them, after I dry them off, and sprinkle on some baby powder,

Put on their little baby nightgowns, feed them in the rocking chair, burp them and then rock them to sleep.

I quietly and gently put them in their cribs being so careful not to wake their peaceful slumber.

The scent of baby powder still brings back those treasured, tender moments with my adorable babies.

Posted by: namesconnie | September 11, 2020

Our Song They Did Not Play by Connie Webb

They missed our song, they missed our song,

on our wedding day;

could that be why, could that be why,

our marriage didn’t stay?

*****

We picked that song, we picked that song,

feeling our love would last forever,

But it did not, but it did not;

our marriage failure endeavor.

*****

What if they didn’t miss our song, 

What could have happened then?

Could our marriage have lasted?

Wonder how our love would have been?

*****

Would we have had no fighting?

Would we have worked things out?

Would we have had no screaming?

Would our love have had no doubt?

*****

Would we have held each other tight, 

when life got hard and tough?

Would we have stuck it out, 

when things got so bleak and rough?

*****

Would we be aging together, 

helping each other with everything?

Would we be there for one another?

Would I still wear my wedding ring?

*****

They missed our song, that lovely song,

on our wedding day;

Could that be why, could that be why

our marriage didn’t stay?

*****

Our song

they did not 

play.

Posted by: namesconnie | July 30, 2020

That First Summer Night With You by Connie Webb

That First Summer Night With You

You and me finally meet alone

You let me pick the movie

We talk, we relate, and then

We fall for one another.

You and me single parents

We had been alone too long

Now we held each other tight

Not wanting this time to end.

You played your guitar smiling

While I looked on lovingly

We both listened intently

Sharing our pains and our hopes.

The dark night sky in the woods

Had stars shining down on us

As your strong hand guided me

Through the forest trees back home.

That first Summer night with you

The way we embraced each other

The feeling of contentment

Knowing I could love again.

Posted by: namesconnie | July 30, 2020

That Moment by Connie Webb

That Moment

It had been happening:

In college classes,

Thinking about my two young kids

Having to go to daycare after school.

How I missed them as I studied and studied

Courses I cared nothing about,

But was required to take to get a degree;

I wanted to make something of myself

So my kids would be proud of me.

It had been happening:

At the doctors office,

When asked about my kids’ milestones

I thought the doc ought to ask the daycare mom,

As I struggled to answer,

Feeling like such a failure as a mom,

Yet there was that thing –

Wanting to be somebody for my two kids.

It finally happened on a Sunday afternoon:

Outdoors with some sidewalk chalk drawings;

A sit down break of homemade lemonade,

With my kids saying they just want to come home after school,

Like so many other kids get to do and be with their moms.

They wanted to have dinner with me, not at daycare.

I heard their voices 

Louder than societies voice “to be somebody”;

And my voice, my feelings, could no longer be drowned out by

Everyone around me encouraging me to keep going to college

So I could show everyone how successful a single mom could be.

Yet I heard my kids so loud that moment.

I told them we may lack some extra money through the years.

I wouldn’t be able to get them so many toys they would want,

By dropping out of college.

And they responded that they didn’t care;

They just wanted me to be with them after school in their home,

Not a daycare home.

And in THAT MOMENT

I knew my role was to be a success as a “loving” mom,

Who would be there for her kids and listen to their voices.

Not as a college student,

Not as a supermom with a great career.

We never wound up with much money.

There were all those welfare papers to keep filling out.

Waiting in long lines at the Food Bank.

Taking buses or walking even on stormy days with some umbrellas getting torn in the high winds,

All due to my dropping out.

But my failure at college,

Became my success as a mom,

The real career I had always wanted,

Filled with memories more valuable than any material thing.

So we decorated our year after year indoor Christmas tree with popcorn, small toys, stuffed animals in the tree along with homemade colored cut-out paper ones,

So we shopped at yard sales and thrift stores,

So I lugged groceries home in a worn out looking stroller,

But we had enough.

We played together, danced together, laughed together.

Had “sit down at the table” family meals with check-ins on how we were doing.

We worked through the troubling times together.

We got through the ups and downs of life and really valued the up times.

I am so proud of my two kids for all they went through together with me,

And the close bonds we share today as a family.

And I think I truly became somebody my kids could be proud of;

Somebody I could be proud of:

A loving mom who was and still is always there for them whenever they need me.

The kind of a somebody they and I always wanted me to be

A truly “loving” mom, the kind of mom, 

that I never got to have.

Posted by: namesconnie | July 14, 2020

To The “Non-Mask Wearers” During Covid-19 Pandemic

To The “Non-Mask Wearers” During Covid-19 Pandemic

We are trying to survive a Covid-19 pandemic by wearing facial masks “properly”, physical distancing, washing our hands and sheltering-in-place. Why do people have to die because you won’t wear a mask?

Your kind of inconsiderate persona, going all around town(s) breathing in the Covid-19, and don’t show sickness, yet you can be carrying it – spreading it to so many people and making them sick or making them die. Do you not have a conscience? (I am not talking about the folks who truly cannot wear masks due to “real”  Dr. approved medical issues.) 

What makes you not care? Was someone mean to you and do you hate people? Do you hate your own life and have a death wish? Do you have a death wish for others? Or are you so narcissistic that you need everyone to see your “beautiful” face? Or could it be that you feel so superior to others that you do not have to follow any rules of “regard” for others? 

Actually a “Non-Mask Wearer” is seen as a human who doesn’t care about themselves or others. They are a danger to themselves and others. Aren’t there places for folks like that and don’t they need to be arrested and put under a 5150 hold at a mental ward?

It is not okay that you don’t give a care. Your not giving a care can make others die. Put on a mask. Your rebelliousness can kill others and you are actually walking around freely like a murderer. If someone was caught trying to kill someone, they would be arrested. 

I think the “Non-Mask Wearer” person is just as dangerous and they can literally kill someone. Why don’t we arrest them? Don’t give me the “land of the free” issue either. Not going to be many free people left if we all die. Do the right thing – wear a mask!

By, Connie Webb (Written after hearing about so many horrible cases of Covid-19 going up all over the place!)

Posted by: namesconnie | May 27, 2020

Respect Your Elders

Respect your elders

by

Connie Webb

I heard this saying since I was a little girl.

I was taught to respect my elders.

As a little kid, I didn’t fully understand what it meant, but now I see why.

Our elders are truly the gem of all societies.

From the loving Grandmother whose grandkids adore her;

From the elder neighbor who puts extra treats in your kids’ trick or treat bags;

And the loving Grandfather that goes to every little league game even with physical pains.

Then there is the elderly Aunt who teaches you how to tie your shoes and you learn right away when no one else’s method made sense.

There’s those elderly volunteers everywhere helping at hospitals, senior centers, schools, and so many other places.

Our elders need to be treasured and valued for the true gems they are.

They pass down their wisdom in so many ways through stories, writings, one on one talks, speeches, books and they are behind the scenes many times loving and supporting their families, friends, and community.

Let’s remember to respect our elders.

If you are not one today, one day you will be, and all will need your wisdom, too.

 

Posted by: namesconnie | May 27, 2020

The Ruby Ring

The Ruby Ring

Wore it so proudly

As it was my loving Grandmothers

Whose life was sadly cut short after falling backwards down a long flight of stairs.

I went to the funeral home only to pass out when I saw her in the casket.

I was only 17 and lost the most important person in my life.

As I wore this ring, with two diamonds shining on both sides of the brilliant ruby,

I always felt comforted. 

The ruby ring was something that “helped” to hold all my dear memories of Nana.

But then the pain of my severe loss, of the one person that I knew for sure loved me,

was too great at such a young age;

Especially with no one to comfort me as my parents were not available due to their alcoholism.

So I chose to run away from home, that never really was a “home”, a couple months after Nana died.

Due to the circumstances of my life on the streets,

My ruby ring was stolen and never to be returned to me.

I had a lot of bad things happen on the streets,

But having my ruby ring stolen was one of the worst.

I can still imagine it, though.

Imagine Nana wearing it proudly.

Remember how I wore it proudly,

And no one can ever take away my beautiful memories of Nana –

A Grandmother who truly cared about me,

Who comforted me,

Who made me laugh,

Who was always the brightest spot in a “family”  life filled with chaos, sadness and violence;

Whose presence on her visits made our house feel like a home,

And even though I no longer have her ring, that became my ring,

My Grandmother will always be treasured in my heart and mind forever,

And no one can ever steal that from me, ever.

By, Connie Webb – May 19, 2020

Posted by: namesconnie | February 16, 2020

Summertime at Zuma Beach

Summertime at Zuma Beach by Connie Webb

That fluorescent orange bikini, 

Baby oil rubbed in my skin,

To shoot for that magazine ad Coppertone tan.

Watching the tanned Lifeguards keeping an eye out for any dangers.

KHJ Radio playing the Beatles, the Monkees, Diana Ross and the Supremes on my store brand, tiny portable radio with the long antenna,

Getting so hot with that sunshine all over me;

Turning over on my stomach, and then back on my back, for an even tan –

So relaxing!

 

Four brothers run, from out of the ocean, telling me to join them as they shake water all over me and run away back to the cool water.

I might as well go in the ocean “now”.

I run back toward the boys and swim out far beyond the crashing waves to where they are headed, with that small tire tube lots of us take turns hanging onto,

While others of us dog paddle or float about.

We talk of all kinds of things out there in the ocean.

We dream of owning a house on the beach –

We are sure we will all be millionaires one day.

 

We start to think about riding the waves back to shore.

We all swim back together. 

Some of us catch the waves the right way

Coasting back to shore easily;

Others of us mess up and get tossed and turned every which way,

Holding our breath with all our might under those roaring waves almost sure we will drown,

But we make it back to shore enjoying the fact that we are ocean survivors.

 

We have our picnic lunch of warm store brand, peanut butter and jelly on white day old bakery Wonder bread.

Drinks are store brand warm root beer, cream soda or coca cola.

More sunbathing.

More 93 KHJ with the Temptations, Herman’s Hermits, Rolling Stones.

More watching the waves roll in and out.

More swimming.

More sunbathing.

Store brand potato chip time now with our warm drinks.

Seagulls begging nearby.

Sun starts to go down.

Our day is ending.

We compare our tans, or sunburns, feeling wealthy even though we are not.

We gather our meager belongings, hating to leave, but hopeful we will return soon.

 

Posted by: namesconnie | November 17, 2019

When I, Sometimes, Don’t Write

When I, Sometimes, Don’t Write

 

By

 

Connie Webb

 

When I, sometimes, don’t write,

It’s because I don’t want to tell you

About the emotional pain I am feeling.

 

I don’t want to tell you how it hurts to see a loved one hurting.

I don’t want to tell you how it is so stressful living on a low income with a disability.

I don’t want to tell you how difficult it is to have a mental health label.

I don’t want to tell you about my physical pain.

I don’t want to tell you about my PTSD label and Clinical Depression label.

I don’t want to tell you of the pain in losing a brother who was murdered when I was only 20 years old and he was only 18 years old.

I don’t want to tell you the pain of losing my Grandma, who fell backwards down a long flight of stairs to not survive it. I was only 17 at the time and I felt she was the only person who I ever felt really loved me for me.

I don’t want to tell you what happened to me as an 18 year old who ran away and lived on the Los Angeles streets homeless.

 

When I, sometimes, don’t write,

It’s because I don’t want to tell you

About the emotional pain I am feeling,

But now you know why

Sometimes, I don’t write. 

 

Posted by: namesconnie | November 15, 2019

The One Problem This Christmas by Connie Webb

The presents look lovely.

The egg nog looks great.

The gingerbread men look like they could dance.

I got a great man to date,

But there’s no toilet paper in the bathroom.

 

The china is grand.

Boy does the silver shine.

Love those Christmas phone calls.

The decorations of red and green divine,

But there’s no toilet paper in the bathroom.

 

The stockings so lovely.

The mantel with greens.

The smell of the pine boughs,

The best scent ever it seems;

But there’s no toilet paper in the bathroom

And I don’t know what to do,

But Merry Christmas everyone

Just hope you don’t have to poo.

(Posted here in 2011 and just re-posting this poem for the holiday season.)

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