Posted by: namesconnie | March 31, 2012

The Best Gift

I am a princess.
All girls are.
Even if they live in
tiny old attics.
Even if they dress in rags,
even if they aren’t pretty,
or smart,
or young.
They’re still princesses.
All of us.
Didn’t your father ever tell you that?
Didn’t he? – A Little Princess movie lines

After hearing these lines from the movie “A Little Princess” I just really had tears. I am stopping to think of why now. I guess it is because my mother left my father when I was only 7 years old. I was to never see him in person again.

I still remember all the other little girls saying things like “Look what my Daddy bought me. Isn’t it wonderful?” Or things like “My Daddy took me to the movies” or “My Daddy is going to take me out for ice cream after school” or “Look, there’s my Daddy in the audience.” Back then I just shut down my feelings, pretending it didn’t matter that I didn’t have a father any more. Or other times I would just imagine my father coming back and scooping me up and telling me he loved me.

When I turned 27 years old, I chose to look up my father. Through the years my mom had always told me that my father didn’t love any of us any longer and to not bother thinking about him any more. I hesitantly picked up the phone and dialed what I hoped was my father’s number. A lady answered. I asked for my father by name and she put him on the phone. I told my father he might want to sit down as I had something important to tell him. I said that I was his daughter and just wanted to say hello to him and tell him that I was sorry we didn’t get to be connected until now. It was a wonderful conversation between a father and a daughter. It turns out he said he never knew where we were all those years. He says he never could find us. And my mom certainly did move us every single year. So certainly it would be difficult for him to locate us. So anyway, I am not sure who is telling the truth. My mom says that my dad always knew where we were, but didn’t care to contact us.

I never will know the full truth. But the thing I do know is that I am happy I picked up the telephone that day, 20 years after not seeing my dad. The day I got a card from him signed “Love your dad” was the day I truly could feel inside that I really was cherished and loved after all. I only had a year and a half of conversing with my dad via phone as he died of a heart attack at age 64. I never got to meet with him again or see him in person again. But I have good memories of our phone conversations and letters he wrote to me and letters I could write to him “finally”, too. As a little girl, my mom would say “Don’t even bother writing him. He doesn’t care!” So I just never did write him or try to call.

I am happy I chose to contact my father before it was too late and I wouldn’t have a chance. I don’t know if my father ever did tell me that I was a little princess when I was a little girl, but just him telling me that I was loved, was the best gift I could have ever gotten from him.

– Connie Webb

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Responses

  1. I love this story. Thanks for sharing. ♥

  2. This is a very good post Connie. I am happy you got to connect with your Dad before it was too late. I am very sure you were his little princess, too as well as loved! 🙂

  3. Connie – this really brought tears to my eyes. I’ve read quite a few posts recently about difficult parental relationships… my own is no different. I have a very terse relationship with my father, used to be a daddy’s girl but parents’ troubles got in the way… it’s a shame things weren’t easier, they could have been very different.

    I am really pleased you were able to reconnect. This is a lovely piece of writing. Thanks for sharing it. 🙂

  4. Connie thanks for sharing this article as I surely can relate. I too did not learn who my father was until the age of 18. After that I still never got the chance to know who he really was because of his wife and my step sister’s jealousy. But that’s ok because I know who my real FATHER is. He awaits my arrival.

  5. What a wonderful experience to write about and share. I didn’t remember this about your dad. I feel so lucky that my dad was around. I feel happy that you got to connect with your dad. I was glad to connect with my biological mother when I was 31 and get to know her before she died a few years later. It is bittersweet these memorieds.

    • Thanks Leslie for your comments. Nice you got to connect with your biological mother, too. It is nice we could connect with our parents “before” they passed away, although I do tend to think “in spirit” we can still connect with anyone who has departed. If they are in our memory and hearts, we will never forget them and plus I tend to think they will never forget us either. Take care. Sincerely, Connie


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